Embracing the Experience of Queer Single Mixer Events

I’m proud to announce that we will be organising our first queer singles women mixer event in Glasgow, Scotland on Friday, 21st June 2024. The event page is available here if you’d like to make a booking.

Understanding the Mix of Emotions

Though I'm full of joy at the prospect of being able to help others find love, from experience, I understand how it feels to attend a queer mixer event when you’re on your own. 

There may be anxiety, fear, excitement, hope and many others. 
Today, I want to share with you about my feelings and experiences and tips that has helped me. 

I’ve attended a few mixer events such as speed dating, free for all (yes this confused me too especially since there was no hosts or structure) and Ceilidhs, the Scottish traditional method for matchmaking. Each had their advantage and disadvantage which now as an organiser I would like to take the best of and help create a unique mixer event to just let people have fun.

Tips for Overcoming Difficult Emotions at Queer Mixer Events

Setting small goals you can affect

Identify and set small goals where the success is based on you. Things like, say “hi to at least 2 people at the event” . This is a great goal because you can do something about it and have completely control. Trying to set a goal like “get everyone to like me and give me their number” is setting yourself up for failure because you can’t control what others think of you and to do so would be a never ending cycle of people pleasing that I don’t recommend. 

Prepare conversation starters

Having a few conversation starters can alleviate some of the initial anxiety. Questions about interests, favourite books, or recent travels are great icebreakers. Or just practice some scripts in your head so that by the time you’re at the ever, you’ll be able to get it all out! 

Feel something? Say it! 

Most people go through life trying to avoid acknowledging their inner pain  because it’s difficult and painful but that doesn’t help in the long term. What helps is to name what you’re feeling as you lean into the emotions so you learn to become an observer of your emotions and don’t feel like they are all of you so you won’t feel overwhelmed. It’ll be difficult at first but the more you learn to observe, the more you’re able to heal and so you’re able to observe more, heal more and become better.

Dan Siegel from his book Mindsight explains that we name an observable sign of emotion, it can help soothe limbic firing because the emotions that arises from experiences are stored in the limbic system such as the Amygdala. So when we are then facing an encounter which we had a difficult experience from, our body will remind us of the time we were overwhelmed and helpless. When we pinpoint what we feel, we can bring in the logical prefrontal cortex in to regulate ourselves. If it’s difficult to do this, imagine yourself as a mountain and the feelings like clouds that you’re able to see as an on server that’s not affected by whatever clouds, thunderstorm that is happening to the ground beneath. Then as you’re sitting on the mountain top, look at your emotional response, the cloud, and ask if this is appropriate or is something else triggering and why? Then invite this feeling in, validate it and heal from it.

Overcoming Personal Fears

1. Understanding Your Anxieties

Identify the specific fears you have about attending the event. Are you worried about not knowing anyone, feeling out of place, or facing rejection? Understanding your anxieties can help you address them more effectively.

2. Seeking Support

If you’re feeling particularly anxious, consider bringing a friend along or reaching out to us beforehand. Knowing that you have support can alleviate some of your fears.

3. Practicing Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Remember that it’s okay to feel nervous and that everyone has their own insecurities. Practicing self-compassion can help you manage your anxiety and enjoy the event more fully.

What to Expect at Our Queer Singles Women Mixer Event

Inclusive and Welcoming Atmosphere

Our event is designed to be a safe and inclusive space for queer women to connect and socialize. Whether you’re looking for friendship, romance, or simply a fun evening, you’ll find a supportive community here.

Fun and Engaging Icebreakers

We’ve planned a variety of surprise activities to help break the ice and encourage interaction. These activities are designed to be fun and engaging, making it easier for everyone to mingle and connect naturally.

Professional and Friendly Hosts

Our team of hosts will be there to ensure that everyone feels comfortable and included. They’ll facilitate introductions and keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable.

Conclusion

Attending a queer mixer event can be a transformative experience. By embracing your vulnerabilities, setting achievable goals, and focusing on the present moment, you can overcome your fears and enjoy meaningful connections.

I hope this has helped and I hope to see you all at the events that will be coming up soon in the U.K.! I look forward to welcoming you to our Queer Singles Women Mixer event in Glasgow on June 21, 2024. Don’t miss out—book your spot now!